I’ve spent the past week traveling through time, revisiting six
years through the portal of memoir. October 20, 2013, the day I walked into my
parents’ house to find a small puppy, one week old, crawling around the corners
of the house, mom and my brother chasing him; a scene that hits me awkwardly,
making me laugh but at the same time glad to see how happy we all were to have
a new pet in the house.
Since my brother and I were born, dad used to raise dogs, as
hunting was his favorite hobby, and he introduced it to my brother, who never
looked back to become a member of the Lebanese Shooting and Hunting
Federation for several years. He even turned out to be more addicted than dad
was.
We spent the first month with our dog “Max” just trying to clean
after his mess at home, up until he was ready to be left outside in the garden
where he has his own house and space for moving around as much as he wants. Dad
made it a routine to take care of his needs and feed him once every day in the
afternoon. By the time he was growing up, both, my dad and brother, started
teaching him when to sit down, go get something and all the technical skills of
hunting so that he will be their companion when hunting season is here.
Today, I’m not going to talk about how the past six years have
passed with “Max” being our family’s companion when we went on picnics, took
him to our house in the mountain, or even the several phases that he went
through, veteran’s visits, medications when he got sick and yet chasing our
neighbor’s cats. All these years bring treasured memories of him around us,
like the parents who watch over the development and progression of their
newborn baby as he grows and learns how to manipulate the world around him.
Today, is a day I write with pain and sorrow for the loss of not just a pet,
but a member of our family.
Grief for losing a dog is sometimes more challenging than the loss
of human loved ones. You might not be able to
understand what I am saying, but people who have experienced the deep love and
companionship of a pet would definitely comprehend and validate the magnitude
of this grief that our family is passing through.
They say that pets love us unconditionally; whether our bank
accounts overflow or overdraw is of no concern to them, they are just here to
love and support us.
They know our secrets and have seen the most vulnerable
sides of us, our best moments and our worst. For them, we are their entire
world. And, for some of us, they are ours. Well, this all applies to our “Max”,
the dog that we consider more than just a furry little creature. He was the
most faithful friend, loyal ally and constant companion whose love and devotion
knows no bounds.
Two months before he passed away, he started having diarrhea, we
thought it was due to food poison or maybe he got cold. After the diarrhea
persisted for more than two weeks, we took him to the veteran, he gave him
medicine; but it didn’t work, his condition persisted. We visited three other
veterans, but no medication has been able to cure him. Every day that was passing
by, he was starting to lose weight, lose energy and we were simply in pain for
seeing his health deteriorating like this.
He passed away one morning of a rainy day in December 2019, when
weather started to get cold and the sky was signaling the start of winter with
its dark clouds. It was hard. If the connection wasn't there, and the whole
relationship was meaningless, saying goodbye would be easy. But the fact that
it was such a difficult separation only means that it was true, genuine love.
For us as a family, our dog’s death was deeply felt and we are all
grieving his absence in a unique and special way. Your personality and many
other factors can determine how loss will affect you. There are no rules,
timetables or linear progression. Some people feel better after weeks or
months, but for some it may take years. It’s something we cannot control, so we
need to allow the process to unfold.
For animal lovers, even a “long life” for our pet is simply never
long enough, but he will still be every story I will ever write, as love is
beyond time. I know that it will only take remembering him to make time
irrelevant.
Until then our friend!!
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